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Marriage Monday: Grow Your Marriage By Leaps And Boundaries (Review & Giveaway)

Title: Grow Your Marriage By Leaps And Boundaries
Author: Jerry L. Cook, PhD, CFLE
Genre: Marriage, Self-Help
Release Date: Dec 2012
ISBN: 13: 9781462110698
Publisher: Plain Sight Publishing & Cedar Fort
Pages: 176
Add it: Goodreads | Shelfari

My review:
Sometimes it's easy to assume that because you're married your spouse understands you completely or maybe at least where you're coming from. This book brings to surface many discussions we should have with our spouse to remember or often times establish boundaries that will help strengthen marriage.

Things I liked!
+good variety of topics
+At the end of each chapter are several questions and activities to further look into the boundaries and review the lessons learned in each chapter.
+The fun list of date ideas at the end of the book.

Excerpt I liked:
"Proper boundaries serve as our moral 'smoke detectors,' letting us know when there is danger. But just like smoke detectors, boundaries need to be checked, maintained, and placed correctly to be most effective. If you've ever had a smoke detector that was oversensitive or didn't work even when the house was filled with smoke, you know that lack of detection or a 'false negative' in detecting smoke to be annoying at best, and very dangerous at worst.
Drawing boundaries, and knowing where those boundaries are, allows them to serve as guides in our marriage. One way that boundaries are formed is through the expectations or standards that each spouse has for their marriage, themselves, and their spouse. The higher and more clear the standards are in a marriage, the more clear the boundary is. These expectations or standards can involve communicating with each other, physical affection and the emotional investment each spouse makes."

About the book (from the back cover): In a marriage, you have to know where to draw the lines. Growth is essential in keeping a healthy, satisfied relationship with your spouse, but a marriage's growth can be stunted through difficulties with financial concerns, physical relations, and parenting decisions. Marriage expert Jerry Cook has a breakthrough approach to marriage that turns these difficult decisions into progress, bringing you and your spouse closer than you ever were before.
Discover -How to use boundaries to strengthen -not limit- your relationship. -What daily practices will bring you closer together. -What you can do when your spouse is unwilling to change. Encouraging and uplifting, Grow Your Marriage by Leaps and Boundaries is perfect for new and longtime couples looking to move forward in their relationships.

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Reading Report 8

What I read from 

April 18-March 2

 Anna and the French Kiss by Stephanie Perkins
Contemporary YA

Reread this one because I'm hoping to get to meet miss Perkins later this month. Easily one of my favorites books. Stephanie Perkins has a way with words, story telling and wanting after that swoon worthy boy.

 Lola and the Boy Next Door by Stephanie Perkins

Contemporary YA.
Reread. LOVED it just as much the second time. It isn't a series but a companion novel but rest assured the characters you loved from the first you'll see again. I might just love Cricket Bell even more than St. Clair.

Looking for Alaska by John Green

YA.
John Green is more extreme than other YA authors I read, and while I enjoyed his other books this one I didnt love. It was just ok for me. 

The Summer Hideaway (The Lakeshore Chronicles) by Susan Wiggs

Adult romance

This is part of a series and while it could stand alone ok, I felt the relationship didn't feel real enough. I generally really love Wiggs though and this was fun, just wish the relationship actually developed some more.

Dirty Red (Love Me With Lies #2) by Tarryn Fisher

Adult

Not your average book. Tarryn has a knack for writing about the brutal honesty of the dark side of these characters. You gotta read The Opportunist first (be warned it's extreme, language, etc) but book #2 will give you an interesting look into the life of a side character. 

The Hiding Place by Corrie ten Boom, John & Elizabeth Sherrill

Historical, Autobiographical

Read this one for book club. Memoir of Corrie Ten Boom and her family helping others during World War II

Marriage Monday: Hold On

"The best thing to hold onto in life is each other." -Audrey Hepburn

You can find my other Marriage Monday's here.

Marriage Monday: Treat it Differently

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"If you want something to last forever, you treat it differently. You shield it and protect it. You never abuse it. You don’t expose it to the elements. You don’t make it common or ordinary. If it ever becomes tarnished, you lovingly polish it until it gleams like new. It becomes special because you have made it so, and it grows more beautiful and precious as time goes by."

-F. Burton Howard

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You can find my other Marriage Monday's here.

Reading Report 7

What I read from

April 2-April 17

Before I Fall by Lauren Oliver

Contemporary YA with a splash of fantasy.

Samantha relives her last day over and over seeing everything and everyone in a new perspective.

I really like Oliver's writing style. An interesting look at how everyone has something more going on then you could ever know. 

Ella Enchanted by Gail Carson Levine

Childrens, Middle Grade, Fantasy a twist on the classic fairy tale Cinderella.

Read this with my 9 year old and we both enjoyed it!

Forget You by Jennifer Echols

 YA Contemporary

 Zoey tries to piece together the night of a car accident. 

I've read a few others from Echols and enjoyed them but this one had a pretty weak plot.

It's Not Summer Without You by Jenny Han

YA Contemporary 3 book series (The Summer I Turned Pretty-#1, We'll Always Have Summer-#3)

Belly drops her plans to help her summer friends. I didn't realize I picked this up in the middle of the series but it still worked. 

The Key to the Golden Firebird by Maureen Johnson

Young Adult Contemporary

Mayzie is trying to deal with her Dad's death, the only responsible one in the family, though she soon starts to realize everyone is dealing with it in their own way. An interesting look on losing a parent as a teen.

Uglies by Scott Westerfeld

A 4 book dystopic/sci-fi series (Uglies, Pretties, Specials, Extras)

When you turn 16 the society gives you surgery to take you from ugly to pretty. But Tally is asked to go into The Smoke and be a spy. When she gets there she learns the truth. I had to wait a while to read this until the hype died down, but I'm glad I finally picked it up. I think I'll give #2 a try.

My goal this year is to read 100 books. Right now I'm at 43/100 According to Goodreads that puts me at 14 books ahead of schedule.

Marriage Monday: Solution-Oriented

In the book The Divorce Remedy, marriage therapist Michele Weiner-Davis shares seven steps to saving your marriage.   Today I wanted to share a little part of  Step #2, Know What You Want.

She suggests you list two or three things you are hoping to change or improve about your marriage. Be solution-oriented about goal-setting. Right now. Grab a paper. Write it down.

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Go ahead. 

Here's where I think it gets interesting! Think about what you want in your marriage, not what's missing. The trouble with complaints is that you are focused on the problems in your marriage rather than what you can do about them. She gives these examples:

Instead of thinking:                                   
I dont want to be separated any longer.
Think:
I would like her to be home by May.

Instead of thinking:        
I hate it when he avoids me.  
Think:          
 I'd like him to be in the same room with me after dinner.

Instead of thinking:   
I wish she weren't so negative.
Think:            
It would be nice if she would admit there were a few positive times between us.

Instead of thinking: 
He's so nasty.
Think:                                      
I would like him to compliment me once in a while and let me know he appreciates the things I do for him.

The idea is to talk about the future. Not the past. Translate your complaints into positive goals right now by asking, "when my spouse stops doing __, what will s/he be doing instead?" Now if necessary, rewrite the things you hope to change about your marriage, making sure they are requests for change rather than complaints.

The Divorce Remedy The Proven 7-Step Program for Saving Your Marriage by Michele Weiner-Davis

You can find my other Marriage Monday's here.