"Loving relationships almost inevitably have their ups and downs, and there may be times in such relationships when the decision/commitment is all or almost all that keeps the relationship going. This component can be essential for getting through hard times and returning to better ones. In ignoring it or separating it from love, one may be missing exactly that component of loving relationships that enables one to get through the hard times as well as the easy ones."
And to me, here's the kicker:
And here's some hope:
"It's crucial to recognize, though, that much of the time these skills were learned and developed after the marriage began. Often, the development of the skills came in response to a crisis or a series of crises."
"What are those skills that people must learn if their marriage is to survive and move toward greatness? They are all secrets I discuss in this book, such as creating a great vision with your lover, resolving conflicts before they dissolve the marriage, communicating with each other so that harmony rather than chaos characterizes the relationship, and building a mutually satisfactory sexual relationship."
Quotes in this post were found in Learning to Live With the Love of Your Life...And Loving It! (Formerly titled The Triumphant Marriage) by Neil Clark Warren, Ph.D.