Marriage Monday: Chemistry

I was flipping through a handful of my books trying to decide what to share to day and this chapter caught my eye. I think all too often it's easier for a spouse/married couple to say, "I/we fell out of love" when it could be that they decided that working at their marriage was too hard or that 'the butterflies' just weren't there anymore when again, they might have just stopped trying to find those positive, happy feelings. Marriage takes work. And I love the way the first quote starts.

"Chemistry makes everything about the marriage work better. When it's present, people get along better, they work together more effectively, and they resolve conflicts with less pain. They not only want to be around one another, they also want to hold hands, sit together in one slightly oversized chair, hug, one another, and say all kinds of 'sweet nothings' to each other. Indeed, chemistry is fundamental to a great marriage."

"Chemistry between two people is responsive to mental and emotional processes over which we have tremendous control. That's right, you can make chemistry happen. If you don't feel the flutter in your heart for your spouse that you once did, if the magic is gone from your relationship, don't panic. You can change that! I have worked clinically with several couples in an effort to determine whether chemistry can be increased, and the results have been incredibly positive. I honestly believe that chemistry can be re-created."

"Chemistry and the senses are closely linked. Understand this gives us a substantial amount of control in an arena where control is not easy to develop. In addition to the senses, chemistry is enhanced when our needs are met by someone else. It doesn't matter much what the need is that gets satisfied; the crucial thing is that a particular individual helps us get this need met. When this happens, the magic begins."

What are your thoughts?

Information from this post is found in:

Learning to Live With the Love of Your Life...and Loving It! Formerly titled The Triumphant Marriage by Neil Clark Warren, Ph.D.

You can find my other Marriage Monday's here.

Marriage Monday: A Free Session

The Healing Group is offering FREE counseling for one day only (in exchange for one item of women's winter clothing to be donated to the shelter).

Read more about the details here: The Healing Group blog or check them out on Facebook.

The FREE sessions are available on Nov 17, 2011 and I just checked and they still have a few slots available so dont wait, call in now!

30 Before 30 Bucket List (More than half way there...)

When I saw there killer prize offer over at Todays Mama I figured it'd be a good time to recap and check in on my goals.

I'm a little over 1/2 way through my 29th year on this planet and that means my 30 before 30 bucket list is on the downhill slide. Apparently I really need to kick it into gear.

1. Travel
2. Take a girls trip.
3. Take a cooking class.

trying to find one that fits my style
4. Finish writing my novel (I won NaNoWriMo last year but didnt finish the story).

currently in the process!
5. Sew 3 projects.

haven't even started. yikes
6. Pay off auto loan.

One more month!
7. Update family blog. (new posts at least twice a month & catch up from last Nov!)

oh boy, again haven't started, better kick it up

8. Video tape the family/kids more often. (My goal is at least 2 a month.)

maybe I should tell my husband and kids this one so they can all remind me.
9. Compile family videos into dvd home movie (at least one per kid for now).

big Nov/Dec project
10. Learn how to play the guitar that I've owned for three years now.

Got some info, now just need to sit and do it. Several times.
11. Read at least 30 books.
12. Write a letter every month to someone whom I admire.

I'm still going to count this if I do at least 12 before April. I've been bad
13. Make a quilt.

gathering info. I WILL have to recruit help on this one.
14. Redecorate Master Bedroom

I was hoping we'd be in a new place so this would be more probable. Not looking like it so this will be an after Christmas project.
15. Write in my journal (at least twice a month).
16. Read a Jane Austen novel.

Hoping to do in Dec after nanowrimo.
17. Begin learning Spanish.

Got the tools now need to do it. Hubby and kids want to do it too!
18. Travel somewhere in Utah I’ve never been to before. (Hopefully Zions, Lake Powell, Bear Lake)
19. Make and complete two months of exercise regime.
20. Plan and implement fun summer activities for the kids/family.
21. Get an updated family photo taken.
22. Organize (& dejunk) two rooms in my house. (Or 1 room and my master closet.)

I totally did this once but it's now been sixth months and I want to do it AGAIN so I'm not crossing it off just yet. :)
23. Plan a fun friend bbq party.
24. Practice my ASL skills with my children.

A little. Again I'd like to do more so I'm not crossing it off just yet.
25. Plan a fun trip for our 10 year wedding anniversary in January.

Ideas are in the works. Nothing booked yet.
26. Try at least 12 new recipes (attempt at least 1 new recipe a month).

More than halfway there! Found some good ones, others not good at all and a few others I need to tweek and try again.
27. Hand write a heartfelt thank you note once a month.

I've been doing this one.
28. Update the family's 72 hour kits & practice again emergency plans.

Maybe I'll plan to do this in February.
29. Print some of my photography and hang them in the house.

Waiting to get my photoshop fixed so I can enhance the photos I want to use. Hoping to have this done before Christmas as a present to myself :)
30. Celebrate turning 30 in style!

Probably gonna need some help on this one too.

This is my entry in the Just Ask Bucket List Getaway Giveaway. Just Ask offers a breast and ovarian cancer screening and is encouraging people to share 15 things that I want to enjoy in my lifetime as a reminder to be aware of my health. Want to enter? Head over to TodaysMama.com to get the details.

Everneath Book Trailer

Get ready. Get excited. It's almost here!