Monday, January 3, 2011

Marriage Monday: Mutual Toleration

When I first headed off to college I started studying for my degree in Marriage and Family studies I thought the only route to take was continuing on to be a therapist. After taking a couple of intro therapy classes I decided if I were to make it my lifelong education I just wouldn't be happy dealing with so much negativity all day. (*While it wasn't the right study area for me, I still feel like it's an incredible profession and one that I think more consumers should take advantage of.)

Luckily for me I had awesome professors and classes that I enjoyed and I found instead some fun research based studies to participate in and decided to steer my studies towards a Marriage Enrichment focus.

The other day I was admiring my shelfs of wonderful books and material on marriage education and thought it'd be fun to share what I'm passionate about with all of you. It may or may not be occurring once a week.

So . . . introducing my very own Marriage Monday. To start us off here is a great quote.

"There seems to be a superstition among many thousands of our young who hold hands and smooch in the drive-ins that marriage is a cottage surrounded by perpetual hollyhocks, to which a perpetually young and handsome husband comes home to a perpetually young and ravishing wife. When the hollyhocks wither and boredom and bills appear, the divorce courts are jammed.

Anyone who imagines that bliss is normal is going to waste a lot of time running around shouting that he's been robbed. The fact is that most putts don't drop. Most beef is tough. Most children grow up to be just ordinary people. Most successful marriages require a high degree of mutual toleration. Most jobs are more often dull than otherwise. . . .

Life is like an old-time rail journey--delays, sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders, and jolts, interspersed only occasionally by beautiful vistas and thrilling bursts of speed. The trick is to thank the Lord for letting you have the ride."

--Jenkin Lloyd Jones, newspaper columnist

I love this quote and hope that it reminds us of the positives more than negatives.
I hope that it helps us understand that it's a choice (yours to be specific) to be happy and experience the joy in life (in marriage, in your job, in your friendships, in your family).
I hope that it reminds us all to be grateful for what we do have.
I hope that it inspires us to want to strive for that higher degree of mutual toleration.

What are your thoughts about what Jenkin Lloyd Jones had to say?

You can find my other Marriage Monday's here.


Tess said...

Love this idea....and, I so agree. Happiness in general is a choice. We choose to be happy for others, to find the good in the moment, to overlook the little things that really don't matter. Very important to remember.

happy new year!

Barbaloot said...

I almost majored in that. If the thought of going back to school and doing research again didn't make me ill, I'd have purused a master's in it:) So, I definitely think I'll be interested in what you're sharing.

Rachel Sue said...

It would be great to have dozens of books on improving marriage in my library. I guess you are the next best thing!

Jenni Elyse said...

President Hinckley actually said the last two paragraphs. It's one of my favorite quotes. I have it on my Facebook page. It helps me remember that life is ordinary and that it's all about trials, and how we respond to those trials.

Jenni Elyse said...

Oh! Wow! Everyone is saying that President Hinckley said, even me, but he was just quoting Jenkins Lloyd Jones! My bad. :) I'll give proper credit on Facebook.

Olivia Carter said...

Love this & I agree that happiness most things is a choice. Are sucky things going to happen? Heck ya, do you have a right to morn or be sad when those sucky things happen? Of course. But you gotta work, work, work to stay positive and be happy.

And P.S. yeah for marriage!

bedelia said...

My minor was in Marriage, Family and Human Development. I learned more real life useful things from those 30 or so credit hours than I did from my whole major.

Like most I love this quote. And while I totally agree, I have to say it is much easier in theory than real life.

Kristie said...

Love that last paragraph. Thanks for sharing. There is so much that I thought marriage was, and I am discovering that it wasn't quite what I thought it was. But it can be better than I thought. It has rough times, but when I work at it, it has some really fun times.
Love this idea, keep sharing little things to think about.

Strawberry Girl said...

I know that President Hinkley used those words in his book, "10 Neglected Virtues" (I'm fairly sure that's the book). It must have been a quote and I didn't know it... :)

Heidi said...

I'm looking forward to Marriage Mondays. What a great idea.

Regarding the quote, I agree with it, as far as day-in-day-out life; it's pretty ordinary. And even though my marriage is ordinary I guess, boy I sure enjoy it! I'd say there are way more than occasional vistas. Or maybe I just get a kick out of the smoke and the jolts of life because my marriage makes it all rock. Does that make sense?

Rochelle Brunson said...

I love it, and completely agree. I think Marriage Monday is a great idea. I'm looking forward to seeing what else you've got.

Kayla said...

I think this is such an important thing to remember. I think a lot of people have misconceptions about marriage always being some glamorous life of love and ease. The reality is so much more hard and therefore so much more rewarding!
Thanks for your post Debbie!

Kimberly Vanderhorst said...

That quote is brilliant, as is this blog topic concept. Love it!

Heidi said...

I blame T.V. commercials for this "Cinderella" approach to marriage. Everyone is happy and smiling and problems are solved so easily. Plus, everyone is gorgeous. No wonder our expectations are skewed.