Monday, March 11, 2013

Marriage Monday: Magic Five Hours

A few weeks ago I talked about how a six-second kiss could do wonders for your marriage. This week I wanted to share a weekly goal.

First let's think about the amount of time, each week, that we invest in things that are important to us or that we enjoy. A list could include things like watching tv, reading, working out, playing ball, sewing, visiting with friends, playing video games, volunteering in the community, surfing the web, cooking, and other hobbies.

I love the following quote. The idea that if we invest time, devote specific time, to something that is important (like our relationship) we'll be more successful!

"After observing couples who had attended a couples' workshop and continued to make gains in their relationship, Dr. John Gottman created the Magic Five Hours a Week to show couples how to reconstruct their week in a way that allows them to continually make positive connections and strengthen their relationship. We know that nearly every couple has a million excuses for why they don't spend enough time working on their relationship. Between work, chores, and family commitments, working on your relationship often falls somewhere near the bottom on the list of your priorities. When it only takes five hours per week to make your relationship a priority, there is really no excuse for not doing so!" 

For example:
Chatting at the end of the day. (Unwinding, sharing, retelling events from the day.)
Daily: 20 minutes a day x 5 working days
Weekly total: 1 hr 40 min

Date night
Weekly total: 1+ hours

With just those two things we're already up to almost 3+ hours!

What are ways you can add to your 'magic five hours' for the week?
date night out (or in!)
physical affection (hugs/kisses when parting or passing by, the 6 second kiss!)
pillow talk
conversation during mealtimes
laughing together
helping each other out with a project
nightly walk
work in the yard
watch a movie
discuss each others days

Are you investing enough time into your relationship?

~Take 1 minute and write down 3 or 4 ways 
you can add to your 'magic five hours' this week.

You can find my other Marriage Monday's here


Kayla said...

We chat while swapping turns giving neck rubs. We frequently cook dinner together. Now that our kids are older, we love 20 minute shopping trips to the grocery store without them! There are a lot of little things everyday that add up to good quality time together.

Rachel+Co said...

i LOVE that you do these, debbie! they always seem to come at just the right time for me. this is such great advice. don and i were just talking about finding ways to connect more during the week. and here's the practical advice we needed. love you!

Heidi said...

That makes me curious. my initial thought is that we easily cover 5 hours, but I wonder if that's true. maybe one of these weeks I'll time it and see. but does being in the same room while we work on separate computers count? is that any more passive than sharing a movie? maybe I wouldn't count computer time though, just to see. do I get a sucker or anything if I get at last 5 hours ;o)?