Monday, April 18, 2011

Marriage Monday: Don't Get Stuck in a Rut

Date Night...Don’t Get Stuck in a Rut!!
by Shannan Hardy, M.S.

Sometimes the ruts, or routines of our lives, are good things! If I was a pioneer straggling across the country in the wagon trains, I would have been grateful for the clearly marked path of the wagon wheels that had trudged the way before me! I would load up the wagon, set my course, and be on my way! But getting STUCK in the rut is another thing altogether. Sometimes those grooves would run so deep, it would be almost impossible to change course with a correction, or even get off the trail for a break! Likewise with our Date Nights...

We all look forward to the reprieve of Date Night with great anticipation when we’re battling the often mind-numbing routine that comes along with the joys of parenthood. However, we often we get stuck in a rut with Date Night and suddenly it’s a bit lackluster or maybe even NOT really the enjoyable event it could be! So...if you find yourself going to the same old place for dinner and yet another generic movie for your regular Date’s a way to ‘get out of the rut!’

Try ADS...the Alphabet Dating System...Not as easy as ABC, but close! Start with A, and do something for date night that begins with A; eat Abalone, go to an Art exhibit, ride an Arabian horse! Who knows!! Be creative and come up with something fun to do! Move on to B; go play Basketball, Baseball, or Batting Cages...You get the idea!! Take turns picking the event and on some letters you will have to be VERY creative and maybe even stretch it a bit to fit the category. Really - the idea here is to do something different. And the only rule is...if your spouse chooses it, you gotta do it! So think carefully if you pick manicures, he may pick a WWF or Mixed Martial Arts event!!

Take some time to keep the Date Night fresh, fun, and enjoyable and it will serve it’s intended keep you both connected, enjoying each other, learning new things and engaged in each other’s lives!


A huge thanks to my guest blogger today, Shannan Blum Hardy.

Shannan Blum Hardy received her Master's Degree in Marriage and Family Therapy from Brigham Young University in 1992 and worked full-time as a drug and alcohol counselor before becoming a full-time stay-at-home mom to her children. She is currently divorced and living with her four children in Chino Hills, California. She has re-entered the workplace as a therapist working with children in the public school system and earning hours towards private licensure. Additionally, she is a co-author with her sister-in-law of "ManagerMom: Managing Your Home for Better Parenting" which you can view at She is passionate about parenting, relationships, learning new things, growing and enjoying every moment with delight!

You can find my other Marriage Mondays here.


Rochelle Brunson said...

I guess you have to have a date night once in a while for this to be applicable. Maybe I should get to work on that.

Cranberryfries said...

Haha! :) I know Rochelle right? Ours have been few and far between the last three months since my hubby is in night school. I'm so excited the semester will be done in two weeks and we can get back on track. We like date nights during the week (because the weekend crowds scare us) and we noticed a good side effect, our babysitter is always available.

Nancy said...

Great suggestions! Even after 45 years of marriage and the kids are grown, our date nights are still important to us. Sometimes date "days" are fun, too, like Friday movie matinees catching new releases before the crowds hit.

Olivia Carter said...

Love the ABC idea! We don't get to go on dates enough- so we usually end up going to the temple or seeing a movie because there are SO MANY we want to see- but we'll be trying this out for sure!

Jenni Elyse said...

The ABC idea sounds really fun! I'll definitely have to try that out.

Cranberryfries said...

Nancy I love that!

Olivia we hardly get to see movies either but sadly there just aren't many out these days interest us.

Jenni I agree, it does sound fun! I'm already writing a list of a few fun things we could do.

Kayla said...

Ooh! Fun ideas! Now we need to implement a regular date night to do them. We usually have date night once every six months. lame.

Heidi said...

So for your next post, how 'bout a 100 date ideas list. We can all contribute. Anthony and I are racking our brains for something to do this week that doesn't involve dinner, movie, or physical (prego-unfriendly) exertion. The only thing we came up with was a play, but we don't have the budget this month. What to do, what to do?